Nancy Richards Interview

“Enjoyed speaking to Candice, an inspiring forgiveness icon”

- Nancy Richards

Below is a virtual interview I did with the talented Nancy Richards as a part of the “Time of the Writer” festival which took the brilliant step of going digital to prevent the spread of covid-19 yet still support authors and engage with literary fans

NR: Good morning lovely Candice on this Human Rights Day #justicerevisited. On this day when we thinking about justice and rights, where is the place for forgiveness?

CM: Good morning Nancy and TOTW. I believe forgiveness plays an integral part in “victims” moving forward effectively from the pain caused by their “perpetrators”. Victim and perpetrator are terms I use loosely as its rarely so black and white

NR: Yes, I see it helps victims but dies it change the perpetrator or impact their future?

CM: That’s a great question to which I don’t believe there is a clear answer. Simply due to their being so many variables at play such as: Do they believe they did something wrong? Are they remorseful? Do they forgive themselves?

NR: Yes, I believe when you met you asked Eugene De Kock if he’d forgiven himself, a key point to your forgiving him. Had there been no remorse, might you still have forgiven him?

CM: I had forgiven him prior to our encounter because I couldn’t live in that state of anger and resentment anymore. so it was definitely for me. Having said that would I have taken the additional step to extend the branch of forgiveness towards him had he not shown remorse - unlikely

NR: Wise woman. What about anger, was there much that you witnessed in your family growing up? Did it influence you? And can anger and forgiveness co-exist?

CM: I believe anytime there is undealt with pain it plays out in a famili’s fabric, however, my own anger stemmed more from discovering my dad’s charred body in the book “Into the Heart of Darkness” by Jacques Pauw. In my experience forgiveness replaced the anger towards Eugene

NR: It’s been such a journey for you Candice you’ve come through but not without difficulties along the way, depression etc- is forgiveness an ongoing process? Can one ever say “that’s it, I’m over it now, moving on”?

CM: I believe that forgiveness is removing the emotional attachment you hold towards the incident which can be reached. This, however, doesn’t mean you can still miss what you’ve lost. In my case whenever it’s my dad’s birthday I still become slightly emotional because I miss not out of anger

NR: An especially happy outcome of your book “Forgiveness Redefined” is that it has inspired so many across the world. Talking and listening widely, have you found the principle of Forgiveness is the same in all countries and cultures?

CM: Thank you. It’s amazing how we all so different but also the same. Globally forgiveness has had holy or misunderstood sentiments around it including for myself. With “Forgiveness Redefined” I hope to be a part of clarifying what it truly means

NR: On a lighter note, been watching you dance/laughing in front of mirror #selfisolaiontweet. Truly a happiness activist! What makes you happy? Can happiness be learned?

CM: laughs Yes it absolutely can! I once heard someone say “You are responsible for the energy you bring into a room” and I have lived by that ever since. What a privilege to have the power to make yourself and others smile. Being happy starts by choosing it

NR: Love it! You’ve also been much awarded and named by Vogue as one of 33 inspiring women alongside Nicole Kidman and Michelle Obama - fabulous! But is it a tiny weeny bit of responsibility,pressure to deliver?

CM: It is such an honor to be mentioned in the same sentence with such phenomenal women. I think it always reminds me that each and every one of us have the ability to contribute to the world in a meaningful way. So it serves as my mantra of sorts

NR: You have been a joy to talk to. In closing what do you plan to do for the rest of your #selfisolation Human Rights Day?

CM: Such a pleasure speaking to you Nancy and TOTW. I will probably watch youtube and attempt to learn a new skill like baking bread and reflect on how blessed we are to be able to have Human rights day in SA. hope you will have a great day

NR: Blessings Candice, bread baking inspired idea, may just follow suit. Also #selfisolation a great opportunity to be reading - Forgiveness Redefined a fitting title for Human Rights Day. Thank you m’dear, thank you TOTW. Been a pleasure