2018 : Year of the Phoenix

There is no coming to consciousness without pain. 
- Carl Jung

As I await my connecting flight , I decide it would be best to use my next hour productively. 
I go to my nearest cafe bustling with the sound of travellers and place an order for a black americano with a double shot of espresso.

In a few short moments my name is called to the counter and the waft of freshly brewed coffee envelopes me. I gently squeeze past the crowd and grab my coffee while my eyes dart around looking for the nearest table to no avail.

After a final glance through the cafe I decide to head on over to the waiting area where a single seat is available, I give a small courteous smile to the lady who’s personal space I’m about to encroach upon and with no words she returns a small smile and nods signalling I could occupy the seat next to her

Finally in my last 45 minutes I finally manage to pull out my laptop and put in my earphones with no intention of listening to music but rather as the universal signal that I am not currently available for a conversation

As I open the document that is to form the larger part of my book, my mind begins to wonder off- reflecting on the year that has been. 2018 has for many reasons been one of the most difficult years of my life

On a mental, physical, emotional and spiritual level. For about two months of the year I experienced what some guru’s refer to as “The Dark Night Of The Soul” simply put it is as Eckhart Tolle says “a collapse of meaning in life, a state closely resembling depression.”

It was a desolated mental space I dwelled in to analyse the things and people I had given meaning in my life and reassess if they truly were what I needed in order to live a fulfilled life. Many of the answers weren’t easy to digest however I knew they were true to me

Once I came to the other side with a new stronger sense of myself and my purpose I realised once again that painful moments in our lives are not built to destroy us but to build us up into more courageous versions of ourselves

Which brings me back to one of my favourite mythological stories, which I am most certain many of you have read about “The Phoenix Rising From The Ashes” in popular culture the story is simplified leaving out in my opinion the most crucial part

The phoenix understood that in order for it to become renewed it needed to set its nest on fire and rise from the ashes

Our pain, struggles and suffering are the crucible to our greatest selves emerging. I repeat these conditions are not meant to destroy us but to show us our strength

The reason I am as happy, energetic and fulfilled as I am is not due to the absence of struggle or pain in my life but rather the overcoming of it.

But hey, I am just a girl from the Southern tip of the African continent sharing her journey through life. Speaking of which I just made eye contact with the most gorgeous baby and my undivided attention needs to go to playing peek-a-boo until my flight

I wish you all a magical and transformative 2019, may I leave you with lyrics from the late great Ms Whitney Houston

There were so many times I
Wondered how I'd get through the night I
Thought took all I could take
I didn't know my own strength
And I crashed down, and I tumbled
But I did not crumble

I got through all the pain
I didn't know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour
My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up
Hold my head up high

I was not built to break
I didn't know my own strength
I was not built to break
I got to know my own strength

With Love Always